Part 77: Chapter #18: Nordilain's Secret

I can no longer bear the weight of Vanguard Bandits. I must end this LP soon, before I finally go mad...well, more mad.

Chapter #18: Nordilain's Secret

Briefing



: It's doubtful, Bastion, but we will certainly try our best.
: I like how you make even the most hopeless situation sound sexy.
: Why would you want to sneak past Duke Logan, anyway? I'll just charm him with my conversation!
: Uh, Sadira...
: We'd rather you stayed quiet, so that you don't start another fight.
: Exactly.
: Oh, stop it, silly! Now I'm going to say hello just to prove you wrong!
: Let's prepare for battle, shall we?
: Sigh...

Interview



: Just when I thought we'd pulled it off, we run into Duke Logan. Are we cursed with bad luck?
: Am I the only one who's noticed that our rations are dangerously low?!
: No, buddy, I'm not jealous that the girls are giving you all the attention. I am, however, VERY depressed...
: Bastion, why won't you stand up for yourself and tell Sadira that YOU'RE the one in charge here?!
Listen, Milea, Sadira can't be bargained with. She can't be reasoned with. She doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And she absolutely will not stop, ever, until we are all dead.
: Bastion, could you make me a pot of tea? And make sure it's delicious!

Mission



Right, so we're trying to sneak past Logan and Claire who are taking a walk...in their ATACs....I don't think that's how a walk works...meanwhile, our team is trying to sneak by...in thirty-foot tall robots. Nothing in this whole set-up makes sense!
: Like, I just wanted some quality time with you, Daddy.
: I can't help but think back to when you were still a child. You'd always drag me outside to play with you, pulling on my little finger with your tiny hands! You were such an adorable little girl, I couldn't stand it!
: Daddy, let's live in the now, okay?! You're SO embarrassing when you start having flashbacks! And, like that pulling-your-finger story always sounds gross to me. Not to mention that you totally make me sound like a midget.
: Ha, ha, ha! Claire, you always know how to make me laugh!



Oh, God, what happened to Logan's face?! And his lungs! What's happening!!!
: Daddy! How many times have I asked you NOT to laugh like that?! I'm always afraid you're going to start having seizures or something. And, like, it's more embarrassing than all those stories about me as a little midget girl. If anyone heard you laugh like that, I would...totally...die!



: Well, let's hope she didn't just hear YOU say THAT!
: How long have you guys been there?
: We, uh, just arrived a moment ago! Isn't that right, Bastion?!
: Uh...right! Right! We just arrived, and we didn't hear anything!
: Is that right? What didn't you hear?
: Uh...did I say 'hear'?
: Ha, ha, ha...you're so silly, Bastion!



Oh...no...
: Ah, ha, ha, HA!! I heard EVERYTHING, Claire, and it was hilarious!! Pulling your dad's finger--!!



: I didn't think it was THAT funny.
: Oh, my ribs!! Claire, you and your father ought to take your act out on the road! You'd make a fortune! So tell me, Claire, have you pulled any fingers lately? Heh, heh, heh!
: Like, I think I can guess that you heard everything we said...And that makes me SO angry that I'm gonna have to beat you all up!
: Calm down, Claire! We're merely passing through Nordilain on our way to the Imperial capital. I didn't think you would mind!
: But you heard, didn't you?
: Of course I did, Claire, but you don't have to worry. I'll keep your finger-pulling tendencies a secret!
: You can't even keep a secret, Sadira! Now that YOU know, I might as well announce it to the entire Empire! 'Hey, everyone, I was a midget and my dad laughs like he's having an asthma attack!'
I...don't understand what's going on anymore...
: I think you're exaggerating just a--
: I totally remember how your loose tongue made me suffer when we were at the military academy! Like, when I accidentally walked into that cute boy, and you told the whole school I did it on purpose? I got totally stuck with the nickname 'Groper Girl' for the rest of the year! And it was YOU who told everyone!
: Sadira, you are the epitome of evil.
: Sadira, you're inhuman.
: It didn't happen like that! I mean, not EXACTLY like that! Claire's just upset at me because of what happened between her and her first love!
: Oh, yeah, the guy who picked me off the ground after I bumped into that cute boy. 'He's nice,' I said to you. YOU decided I was in love with him, and YOU told the entire school how I, like, 'felt' about him. He was so angry at me and ashamed of himself that he dropped out. Then the rumors totally started that I was going to have his love child. Rumors YOU started, Sadira. That was the most humiliating experience of my entire life, and it was all because of YOU!
: You've got it all wrong, Claire!
: I have the strong suspicion that she's exactly right.
: I guarantee she's right.
: And now you totally know my most embarrassing secret! If I let you go, Daddy and me will be the laughingstocks of the Continent! So now we're gonna have to beat up you and your friends instead!
: Claire...



Wait...things could still turn around, this doesn't have to go bad!

: I'm going to give that little brat the spanking of a lifetime!
Fuck!
: Hold on, Duke Logan! Can the rest of us pass through the Empire while you and your daughter punish Sadira!
That's a deal I could live with!
: What?! Is THAT the kind of relationship we have, Bastion? You're throwing me away since I'm no longer useful?!
: Relationship?! You and Bastion are acquaintances, and nothing more!
Also, Sadira was NEVER useful...
: Enough debating, okay?! You all know my secret, and so you're all going to get, like, beaten up!



: Shion, good timing! Destroy them all!
: With pleasure, Miss Claire.



Another battle with Nordilains. Okay, so it'll take Claire and Logan a few turns to make it from their starting positions, and you might as well make it a bit longer by heading towards Shion's group.



This is a pretty easy mission. The only way you'd run into trouble is doing something like waiting around for the Nordilain forces to surround you.



Logan is always a threat. Thankfully, this map, which we've fought on before, is apparently difficult for the AI to navigate, which means that Logan will take even longer to reach us.



Claire, on the other hand, is fodder.
: Could you please reconsider allowing the rest of us to continue onward? Unlike certain Princesses, we are all able to keep a secret.
: Birds of a feather flock together! If you're hanging out with Sadira, you must be, like, just as bad! I totally don't believe you!
: How dare you compare us to Sadira! Now you've made ME angry!
The punishment for such outrageous slander! I have Sadira herself finish Claire off!



: I still have yet to understand why you're so angry at me, Claire!
: Drop the act, Sadira! You KNOW that what you did was messed up, and now you're gonna pay for it!
No, no, she won't.
: I'm beaten! Now the secret of my dad's laugh is going to spread across the Continent. Everyone will mock him...and me! I AM SO TOTALLY EMBARRASSED!!



And now you are so totally dead! Forever! I feel...so free!



: Damn you all! You'll pay for what you've done to my daughter!
About the whole Sadira-rumor issue, or for killing her? Oh, I'm a kind man...I'll send you to be with her forthwith!



Glory be to the TICTAC!
: I can't believe I've lost...And to a group of liars who have defiled my daughter's good name! Aargh!



: Once again, Princess Sadira has left pain and destruction in her wake.



: I already told you "no," Bastion! She was always jealous of me, that's all! I'm more beautiful and refined!
: Jealousy can be a powerful emotion, but I don't know if it would make me angry enough to declare war.
: I think Claire was telling the truth. You could hear the hurt in her voice. I certainly could, at least.
: Neither of you were at that school with Claire and me, and neither of you know what really happened!
Well...uh...there was another witness, but we kinda just killed her.
: So I strongly suggest that both of you butt out!
: And on that extremely unpleasant note, we should be leaving.
: Please.
: The sooner the better, buddy.
: Does the tension make anyone else here hungry? Just wondering...



: I don't detect any Imperials yet. They could be preparing to ambush us--Hold on. Where did Sadira go?
: She flew off a while ago to take a look around, Bastion. That's what she told me, anyway.
: Isn't it somewhat strange for her to leave our side now that we've entered the Empire? You don't think...
: She's been working for the Empire all along? Probably not.
: We're about to find out, because here she comes.
: There is a huge conflict between the Kingdom and the Empire raging just ahead of us! I think it could be the largest battle in the history of the Continent!
Prepare to be disappointed about that, by the way.
: So when you're not creating conflict, you also have a talent for finding it. Amazing.
: Why, thank you, Bastion!
: It's not a compliment.

Next Time: The war of all against all!